Coming out. There are times with I really enjoy this new found sense of freedom, even if it is only freedom of thought and not expression, yet. I have come out to myself decisively. New feelings and thoughts to which to become accustomed. But what are they all?
What part(s) of me have I always accepted as "me" but are parts that have something to do with being gay? Or are they simply part of being human? I know that being gay means more than just sexual behaviour. But what does it mean?
Is it behavioural? How I walk or act or use my voice? Most stereotypes have within them a modicum of reality, they come form somewhere, after all. But what stereotypes of "gay" do I exhibit and are they part of the essence of being gay.
I have done no reading on the subject, and I'm sure there are resources out there. I'd appreciate any suggestions.
I want to delight in who I am, and that is beginning to happen (in between the bouts of depression). Am I "acting" more gay? Have I always acted this way? Maybe they have all already figured it out and are just waiting for me? There could be some relief in that.
What difference does it make, what is the essence of it?