Friday, May 29, 2009


I moved at the end of last month, and I had to move in a hurry! Here is a picture of the last bits from the living room.

After it was all packed into a truck, it got moved to my place of business and stored in an extra room. Blessedly we've got the storage space. That's saving me some bucks!

It's all there. In that room. Well, there is some in the basement, too, but most of it's right there.

It isn't as much as one might think. You can really see most of it in the picture. I'm glad to be traveling as lightly as I am. (May the poor of the world forgive me).

Next, I'll post some pictures of my present digs. Sharing a house with folk comes with ready-made garden.

Life goes on. Life is good. Busy, hectic, stressful. But I am glad to be alive, to be me.

Tonight, some friends are coming to stay over for the weekend. In between work requirements, we'll get to visit. I'm so glad to have friends.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Darkness is as Light

My friend died yesterday. God rest his soul. We'll never know what darkness he felt; now he is in the Light.

Psalm 139.11-12
11 If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light around me become night’,
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is as bright as the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

May his soul, and the souls of all the departed, through the mercies of God, rest if peace.

Thanks to Birdie for offering reflection on her father's suicide. She is most wise.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Turning, turning

I've been up to my nostrils in stress. And I'm not sure the snorkeling is going so well.

A friend shot himself, attempting suicide, I guess. There are no notes, seemed to be no planning. It seems so f**cking random. And stupid. And tragic. I am hurting from this one.

The bullet fragmented in his brain, doing significant damage. But the body lives on. His family decided to remove him from machinery, and this afternoon that was done. I was with him, and them.

But the body lives on. So often people think "pulling the plug" means someone dies instantly, as with unplugging the television. But it ain't that simple. He may go soon, or he may last for days. There is no way to know. (Though, my experience with stubborn people is that they continue to be stubborn, right up to the last. We'll see.)

The waiting is very draining and emotionally exhausting. Makes it difficult to focus on much else. If it were some tragic accident or some extenuating health issue, that's one thing. Those are tragic enough. But suicide.

For now, we have to set aside all the unanswered (and unknowable) questions and focus simply on being with him, and with God.

In the last month, I have had to move. I have traveled far to retrieve eldest child from college and tried to bolster her. (I fear she's near some kind of breakdown). I've been with 68 teenagers and several adults on a five day school trip; fun, but exhausting. i come home and have this difficult situation to deal with

I've had enough stress for a while. Please.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Does not compute

The laptop computer which I have been using for six years has finally bitten the dust. Ashes to ashes, electron to electron. Actually, it "belongs" to the non-profit organization for which I work. (Yes, I clean all the history stuff, carefully and often).

Now, I'm off for a week of errands, field trips, retrievals, etc., with my offspring. If I have the chance to use a random computer somewhere, I might get in a post, otherwise it will be next week.

There are still pieces here and there and all over. But the core is holding. Solid.

I hope they buy me a new computer.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Let me rest in pieces

Seeing most all one's worldly possessions crammed into one room is a bit disconcerting. And somewhat disheartening, too. When the flying monkeys dis-assembled the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, he said, "well, that's me all over." I'm feeling a that way. All over.

The condo in which I was living was rented and I had to move. Now all my stuff is in storage (very oddly at my place of work. We had an empty, unused room. The price is right).

I'm crashing with friends for a while until a Way opens for something more permanent (which may be crashing with friends.

I never need fear being truly "homeless." Though my spirit feels a bit un-moored.

I'll post some pictures of the move and all my stuff. when I can.