Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Switching Tracks

My father worked for the railroad. He used to have a large brass key used for the switches in the train yard. The heavy, weighted arm on the switch helped you actually move the tracks. A lot of strength was needed to lift the weight, but then it actually helped your move the tracks as the weight went down on the other side.

Changing things in life are like that. Weighty, requiring strength to get things started. And still strength is needed to complete the switch, but it's nice to have some weight to complete the task.

Then you just have the train to move.

I stole the picture from Slobot. Hope he won't mind.

Too often I live out of a sense of scarcity. I am not enough; I do not have enough; I cannot be enough. This mindset seems to exclude any sense of grace, or love, or Love. This thinking leads me over the edge, into the abyss. It follows from old training. I must do it all, be all, figure it all out on my own. Not one is there to help. No one is there.

God calls us to live out of a sense of abundance. God loves, enables, engraces, gifts, and provides. I am good. I can. What I need is available to me.

Old Thinking:
I think I never have enough. I'm not good enough. I do not have what it takes. I don't even know what it takes! I am deficient, inadequate, inept, and so on. It just gets worse.

New Thinking:
I have enough. I do not have all things or gifts or talents, but I have enough.
God has provided what I need to do what I'm called to do. I am loved. There
is nothing I can do (for good or ill) that will make God love me any more, or
less, than God already loves me.

Making this switch in thinking and being is not easy, but possible. It is not instant, but gradual. It is part of the journey.

I know how to love. I am learning how to be loved. This is a tough task. The transformation I need is not about becoming someone else, but healing the wounds to become who I am.

Monday, January 12, 2009

In Memphis

Well, it's "take the daughter back to school" time again, and I find myself in Memphis for the night. She brought her car back, and I rode with her (ain't lettin' my girl drive all that way by herself). So, I fly back home tomorrow morning. Gees, this trip is costing a sh--load of cash!

She's worth it.

So, I'm stuck in hotel near the airport for the evening. But I have TV, a rare treat for me. Maybe I'll find some trouble to get into, but probably not!

The new year is off to a bang. I'm making a shift inside, moving towards abundance and away from scarcity. More on that next time.

Cheers, all.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Good reads

I've just finished reading the novel Changing Tides by Michael Thomas Ford. A really good read. As a late-blooming gay man, with a teenage daughter (and a 20 yr old, as well), I thoroughly enjoyed it.

It's the second novel by Ford I've read, the first being Looking For It. Also an excellent read.

Since I don't have cable (and antennae don't work in these here hills), I do a lot of reading. Now, I finally got a television with a larger-than-a-dish-rag screen, so I can really see videos. Tonight I'm going to delve into Henry VIII and The Tudors.

I might have to join NetFlix or something. But I'll keep my library card in shape, too.

Cheers for now.