Yes, it is here. How I'd love to go and find some bear with whom to perform the Rites of Spring. Not sure what all those rites are, but I'll bet we could improvise!My back is SOOOO much better, but still a bit sore. Maybe I'll wait a week or so before bear hunting. Mmmmm.
With the divorce done, it has crossed my mind to think about the possibility of beginning to think about getting started with the idea of dating. I haven't really done much of that in my whole life, let alone with men. Or maybe I have and didn't even know it!
I live in a relatively small city. Too many circles that interconnect. If I'm outed at work, it could be curtains. But then again, maybe more folk have "figured it out," and as long as I don't say anything, I'd be OK? Hmmmm, too risky.
How to get started? Where to look? What to look for?
ME:
- 6'2"
- 250 lbs
- 53 yrs. old
- Beard, hairy, buzzed head
- big feet, big hands, big heart
- easy going (Really), and just plain easy
- honest (Really), seeks to live with intergrity
- spiritual? - I'm seeking. Orthodox, and yet not.
- great sense of humor, but sometimes a little boring
- extroverted, but shy. Except when I'm just over-the-top
- don't even ask what I do for a living, it's too weird in this context, and you might not believe it anyway.
I don't know what to say. I can't sum myself up in a few words. Such a muddle I'm in. Any suggestions?
11 comments:
Just be yourself. The right one will come along and love dispite yourself, just be open to the experience. That is the hardest part.
A wise friend once told me to make sure I get my "gay legs" under me before I started making waves in the dating pool. It was good advice.
Especially when you are facing issues of anonymity due to your profession, it can be really, really weird. Let's face it, being out and open and dating can be really, really weird all by itself.
Be at peace - it took you years to get here. You don't have to jump to the next square immediately. It will take some time to just get comfortable as you are, before you become "someone else's."
With the events of the past few weeks accomplished you have one less "gay mark of Cain" than I do, a major one I might add. Given that, you may have more acceptance than you might think at first. I would echo the "be yourself" mantra. In our area we have gay social groups. They are not "sex clubs" or even hook up clubs, just venues for like minds to connect. But in your case I would see them as providing that meeting place in which you might find a soul mate. I think that they are far better than internet social networking sites, bars, and bookstores for meeting a special someone.
Could you go for a 155lb 5'9" semi-hairy Otter, high and tight S&P hair, nice tight muscular build with a HUGE sexual appetite?
You may laugh but why don't you sign up on Match.com. They have a section for gay men and it's not like it's a "cruising" sight.
With stats like that can I be your beaux?
I suggest very much you don't bother to 'date' per se but go do as many fulfilling hobbies and activities as you can. Invariably you will literally stumble over somebody - usually when you were not looking and perhaps finding it inconvenient.
This works every time.
While my current dating experience/quasi-relationship is pretty damned exasperating, I agree with Ur-spo. Get involved wherever you safely can. It gives a chance to really find your own place, to learn more about yourself, and to meet someone without the pressure of dating. First dates with total strangers are not my thing. Too much pressure.
That said, I had one great date from match.com. Of course, we knew several people in common, which made it easier. But he got transferred to Atlanta.
Just be yourself. And honesty is a very, very good thing! Remember that no matter what, he is probably as nervous as you are when it happens!
Please, please, please be careful. And be yourself, for then you'll know that the inevitable attraction is real.
Ditto on all above!
I'd add to be happy in whatever you're doing. That shows through louder than anything else and attracts people to you.
btw.... woof! ;-)
Careful with those rites of spring!
Big woof, big daddy :-)
Love yourself first, completely and utterly for the glorious being you are. That is incredibly attractive. When you're ready, write down how your man would make you feel to be with. Know deep down in those sexy big bones of yours that you are one hell of a hot man! Love that bigness! (major, major woof: the rest of us adore it!) but YOU must adore it even more :-) own it all, cause baby, it's all hot, sexy, juicy you.
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