Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Relaxing into Outness

Forgive my absence, dear friends, from your blogs.  I've not taken the time (or had much to give) for blog reading.  I miss you, your lives, concerns, and posts.  But I shall get back into reading more.

I am sitting in the midst of this new-found "outness."  How odd it feels.  Not quite sure what to make of it all.  After so many years of such careful language, conversation, and action, it seems odd not to go with old patterns.  Then again, maybe I don't need to "change" but only relax.

 Things at my place of business, within my organization, seem (so far) to be going well.  One customer has left, and I expected they would do that.  I hope they will find a new place to "shop."  There departure was stated to me personally, with respect and kindness, if disagreement on the Issue. (The Issue is questioning whether or not gays should be in this line of work.  And, I'm gay. So).

Others have spoken very kindly and supportively to me of my courage to do such a thing.  So, there I stand, talking with one of my constituents/customers all about the fact that I'm gay and just came out.  OMG.  I've never rehearsed such a conversation.  Never imagined it.

And yet.  Here I am.

And I've put an HRC sticker on my car.  Hah!

14 comments:

behrmark said...

You are to be commended for following your heart with intelligence, honesty, and forthrightness. Bravo.

Larry Ohio said...

It looks like you are feeling a little better than you were a few days ago. Your last post really concerned me. Remember to keep smiling.

Neil said...

Take it slow. The harvest of your courageous deed will come slowly but it will be big. It will be in your life and in the lives of other people. You're already beginning to reap it.
Grateful is how I feel about you, grateful for your existence and friendship. Big hug.

Birdie said...

Big smiles and hugs for you, my friend! You are well on your way to living an authentic life as the man God made you to be. I hope you are writing down for yourself the conversations and your feelings as you experience them. Don't edit; that comes much later. Yours is a story that must be told someday.

Concerning this blog: you might want to consider an "invitation only" status as you close this intimate reflection to the public. Just a thought. Don't want to lose you!

BentonQuest said...

Good for you!

You are finding what I found, a whole lot of support. Some people got angry with me because I chose to leave. They wanted me to stay but at the time, that was not the thing to do. I hope you will continue to find support.

Jeremiah Andrews said...

This is 2010. If people can't deal with homosexuals then FUCK EM ...

You don't need their business. It seems loyalty went out the window with your coming out. oh well.

They will come and they will go. Imagine if you had to tell them all you had AIDS. Imagine the backlash then. You wanna see people run in the other direction as fast as their feet would carry them. (Been here-Done this-Seen it)

Bear... You're a big boy. Time to relax into who you are and breathe for a while, just breathe. shit happens and we are powerless over people, places and things so just live in the moment and be thankful for your life. You could be worse off as a gay man. But you're not.

Let's celebrate a little and just live. If people can't deal with you're homosexuality that's ON THEM not YOU. Fuck Em ...

You don't need everyones approval, only God's and you have that, you're still alive. We can't please all the people all the time. But we can please some of the people some of the time.

Little victories... that's what this is.

One day at a time ...

Jeremy

Dale said...

Evening
I have given some thought, actually more than some, to your last post about your family. Enought to call my son in Hawaii and ask him about it. It was the coming out to family issue. His thought after 3 seconds was..sometimes he was hurt, sometimes angry, sometimes he had the "Why did it have to be my Dad?" but he never stopped loving me and I never stopped being his Dad. He paused a few minutes and we had a long moment of dead silence {which is not uncommon with him amd has lasted as long as 10 minutes on occasion..a long time but one of his glitches so I have learned to live with it} then he said he was glad I told him and that he prob never would have forgiven me if I had not trusted him and told him before he heard it elsewhere. I hope this nugget of info is helpful.
Dale

Lemuel said...

I think the "relax" thing is a good concept. It reminds me of the times I have been in a tense situation (of various kinds), the moment passes, and I can feel my whole body and being relax. I hope it is that way with you.

As for the one that left and for your description. It is both a blessing and a bane that the overarching "corporation" has so many different outlets that the customers can "shop" at another store if they do not find what they like at their present one. In one sense it is good that they can find a place in which they can feel comfortable, but in another sense it only prevents them from dealing with their differences with the corporation's "policies".

RG said...

So, you've told everyone you needed to and basically everything is okay and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse did not show up! No locusts, mountain streams turning to blood or plagues of frogs either?

See - I told you so. LOL

BadgerBear said...

Joe,

Keep in mind: being true to who you are in the depths of your soul is not and has never been "your problem".

You ARE a child of God, my friend, an equal member of the family here on Earth. No less than the trees and the stars: you have a right to be here. You never, ever need permission to be.

If anyone else has a problem with that, it is ... their problem. Besides, you're one big, scary guy and can menace anyone (even if you're a puppy dog inside). You just have to look fierce. Think of it as "survival drag" ;-)

I love you, love you, and you know that. Hell, we all do or we wouldn't be here with you on your blog :-) You always got my love, big guy.

Topper said...

Well, time to relax at least a little. YES, you are christian, gay, AND Meant to be who you are and do what you do! If people have problem its theirs not yours.

Ultra Dave said...

Coming out is a process not an event. It takes just as much time for you to adjust as those around you. There is no time frame for discovering you.

Ice John's World said...

Congratulation to your courage and everything! Now you can truly "relax" and just be you!

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