Thanks to all for supportive comments and emails. Much appreciated. I am not irretrievably undone; I am still doing. Moving. Working. Though it goes slowly.
I've come out to my staff, and now to a few, well-placed, trusted "customers." So far, so good. Next week is a meeting with the "district executive" to talk about what next.
Focusing on work in the midst of this season is tough enough. With all this going on. Ugh. And now, money is running out. Fast. And I have yet to shop for anything. I have no time or skill to make stuff. So the panic is beginning to set in.
There are these old messages (oh no, the Voices! aaaaaaah!) that are hard to shut down. Old memories of childhood and presents that weren't "good enough." Wanting everything to be perfect, but a near-total inability to plan ahead or remember what needs doing when.
I want a spouse, but I probably need a handler. Ugh.
In spite of everything, there has been some holiday fun. Yes. At my place of business, we tried a new thing this year that has been a huge success and great fun! December 6th is St. Nicholas Day. As the culminating event of my organizations sesquicentennial, we decided to have a big dinner. The menu was simple and inexpensive, with volunteers doing the food. Folk signed up to decorate tables for the celebration.
St. Nicholas himself showed up for the feast. We told some stories about the legends of St. Nicholas, the patron saint of anonymous gifts. My, oh my, how the legend has changed. (So sad that great legends were turned into shaming lessons to get kids to "behave.")
Anyway, it was a great feast! Needless to say, my table was fabulous!