And indeed, the going is tough. It's all breaking down: all the assurances, the faith, the structure of things. They all seem to be breaking down. Coming apart. I am undone.
But I ain't done. Not yet.
I know that the way of faith is not the easy road many think. Faith is not some commodity we have or can get or earn. It's more of an openness, a receptive-ness. It is not a wall that encloses carefully laid sturctures but the opposite. It is the door in the wall. It is the space, the opening, the nothing (not the something).
Perhaps I am moving through the opening. I am not without hope. I believe that I am held. I'm having trouble seeing how Way will open. But I think it will. At least, I believe it will.