Thursday, December 17, 2009

Snow going

Happy Days of Holiness to all!  Busy-ness prevails around here.  And, there is a prediction of snow, sleet, or worse for tonight.

We don't get that much snow, and it's always wet, heavy, slushy stuff that makes driving very difficult.  It's not the nice, powdery snow others get.  And, being in the mountains, it ain't flat here.  We aren't that accustomed to driving in it, there is limited road cleanup, and many roads have deep ditches on the sides.  If you slip and slide, it may be all over but the shouting. (as we say).

So, the grocery stores are mobbed with folk getting milk, bread, and other essentials.  (That reminds me to get to the ABC store).

I met with my regional executive person on Tuesday about the coming out stuff.  he is supportive, and I think he "get's it."  He's not sure that my constituency will get or whether I'll (ultimately) keep my job.  In this strange company, it's not up to him but the "customers."  He is concerned that I balance coming out needs with financial/family needs.  In other words:  if I lose my job, can I support the children and former wife.

Unless I find a rich sugar daddy (and soon) I can't.  So, timing issues are in the mix right now.

It is slow, but it moves.  Glacial, but maybe there is some warming.  I'm getting through this depressing (for me) season.  Slogging along, but grateful.

PS:  Yes, we got snow.  8 to 14 inches worth, depending on where in the mountains you live.  Our house: 14".  Brrrr.


Jeremiah Andrews said...

Hey Bear,
you chose to come out at work. So you face the consequences of that action. Now you have to deal with the possible backlash.

If it comes down to keeping your job and the people speak and you loose it then you are screwed. Common sense prevails in this respect....

You made orientation a public domain issue, now you deal with them. HAD you chosen to keep your mouth shut you wouldn't be in this position. I know coming out was an issue, but in the end did it do you any good to do so?

We are all adults, and personal business is just that PERSONAL. Why make a huge action of informing the pubic that we are gay? I know the answer to that question - this was rhetorical.

You live in the South a very unwelcoming area and you opened up your can of worms and now you could be doomed for your honesty and forthrightness.

I would have kept my mouth shut and told only those who really NEEDED to know. Being gay is part of who we are not all of who we are, hence my reticence to share information that might damn me.

Hope it goes your way.


Ultra Dave said...

Hope it allworks out for the best Joe! And regardless of out come, life will carry on as before and you will be a better man, stronger and more complete for it! Wish you the best of the holiday season!

Michael Dodd said...

I came out to different people over a period of decades, some at work or in my faith community, some family, some friends and so on.

I finally reached the point where I preferred to let everyone know instead of keeping a list in my head of who knew what. (Obviously this does not mean the paper delivery folks or the clerk at Walmart. Although I am reasonably sure the Walmart people know well enough when my partner and I check out together every other day ...)

What I ultimately had to face was whether being gay meant I needed to begin to build a new and different life than the one I had been living (quite happily and successfully) for thirty years. I finally chose to step off the path and trek into the unknown. I could have chosen not to do that, and each of us chooses which path to follow. Just don't forget that there are options beyond "stay and suffer" or "go and suffer." Surely it is also possible to stay and rejoice or go and rejoice.

The word verification is "canesse" -- which I take to mean "you can just be." I mean, it works for God, right?

Neil said...

Needless to say, you're the first person in my prayers, so that you wouldn't lose the job. Exactly the opposite: I wish you that your "customers" would be extremely supportive and understanding and want you to stay!

If only you saw how unprepared my neighborhood is for heavy snowfalls, although here it's absolutely normal. This morning I hardly made it to work.

Dearest Joe, may your Christmas be wonderful, may your family be DELIGHTED with you being with them and everything you bring along. I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

Lemuel said...

One of my hopes is that you are able to trust that "corporate exec" to support you with the "customers". My own experience: could I trust them? not so much.

But I still think you can trust the CEO. The path may be a bit rough, but I think he'll see it through with you.

My prayers aways are with you.

on a totally differ subject: my word verification for this comment was "scrume". think about it.

JON said...

The "coming out" culture was popularized in and by those who lived in places like New York, London, San Francisco, Hollywood.

I live in Greenville, SC. Someone in Hollywood can tell me all day long that I should be true to myself and let everyone know that I am a gay man. However, he does not in the end have to pay the rent and put food on my table.

Sorry you are walking this tight line between truth and reality.

Bigg said...

I lived with this struggle too. I went through the recriminations, the endless personal hours of shame and the fears about how I would support my family and still be true to myself. Then the cancer and the treatment took away the choice about work - but if I hadn't realized that this might be my last chance to live as the man I was born to be, I might not be as happily partnered or well settled as I am today.
We all have to take chances, and we all have to weigh the odds. I hope so very much for your sake that you weigh first and chance last, and that it turns out the very best for you.
I'll be thinking of you & wishing you all my very best.

manxxman said...

Because you are in the midst of this it may feel glacial to you but having read your blog for loe these many years believe me it isn't glacial or any where near glacial. You have made amazing progress. I hope and pray that your life gets better and better for you.

A Troll At Sea said...

Toasted Joe:

I say Mr. J. Andrews is bang-on when he says that being gay isn't all of who we are; it isn't. And he's probably also right to remind us that actions have consequences. But the word that needs to be said is that the truth will set us free. And freedom is worth almost any price.

I hope you will find that the price is worth paying. I did. I am aware that as a free-lance hack I don't face the institutional hurdles that you do, but even in your business there are bound to be sales areas that are happy to get someone who knows the turf and can do the job, and don't give a hoot about anything else.

Where I come from it's even gotten a little TOO cool to be gay in some sidelines of yr business.

Write if you get work.

Topper said...

Well I'm glad you had a supportive outcome with your regional person. I hope there is not a backlash from your customers or if there is it wont impact your job. that is what I will pray for you.

Now let me suggest you slow down on the coming out at work. Part of self preservation. Blessing to you!

Eric said...

Hey Joe...I'm thinking of you as you go through this process. I don't understand why people have to be so mean about it. There is a difference between being honest with yourself and others and flaunting your sexuality, even though those who would prefer that gays stay in the closet can't see a distinction.

I hope that things go well for you.

Birdie said...

I know it means so much to you to live an authentic life as the man God made you to be. I cannot advise you better than those who have been through this, so know that I pray for you, those who love you, and all who have a role in your future.

john said...

Hello...just offering my support!!

RG said...

If I win the lottery, you can be my Kept Bear. Of course, you'll have to put out....

Ur-spo said...

heavens, I am last in line; I too support and think of you.

Neil said...

Ah, you added the pic. How fond memories it brings! At last, your place looks like mine. :-) Your snow, guys, has even been in our news. Stay warm, Sweetie!

BadgerBear said...

Cozy! I love it :-)

Love you, big bear. I send you my love always, no matter what.


Larry Ohio said...

That pic is stunningly beautiful. I so love the snow when it it still fresh and fluffy.

Keep your chin up. Believe me, if I had excess money I'd be happy to be your sugar daddy. And not just you; I mean all the bloggers I read. Blogging came along in my life just when I needed it the most and I very much appreciate the good things bloggers' personal stories are doing for me.