I want to focus on the children (older teenagers) and their needs. But when I get critiques (criticisms) that I'm being "too self-focused, too narcissistic, too focused on my inner struggles, not focused enough on them" I get confused, depressed, and I want to run away. (Yes, I know that is not the adult response, but it's still what I want to do).
So, is this what I say, "I'm your father. I love you. I'm gay. That's why we're getting a divorce. Any questions?"
How do I talk about me and focus on them and not reveal too much and respond to where they are (of course I have no idea where that is)? How do I be the parent and not try to be the friend or make them confidants (inappropriately).
I think I'm not a very good parent, sometimes. But trust me, they could have done a helluva lot worse! I feel like I need to "grow up" so much more than I have. I am feeling the scared little kid yearning for hugs. I have to be the adult, the parent, the responsible one.
I know this will take time.
I have a lot of growing up to do. A lot. And fast.