Monday, November 12, 2007

Still Hangin'

The struggle goes on. And so do I. It's lonely. I am sooooo horny, but refraining from anything, for a time. Not forever, but for today. Just for today. No promises for tomorrow. But today.

This is all very vexing and troubling. I so want to get things in my life in a good place so that I can be a healthy, happy, very gay man. I do not want to be enslaved by lust, but to give myself with passion and intimacy where it counts. I'm not ruling out anything at this point, except for acting out today.

I spent most of the weekend at a church-related meeting, a convention-like affair. So many woofy men! But I restrained myself, and am glad that I did.

And, on a lighter note. . . . here is a picture from my drive through the Great Smokey Mountains Nat'l Park.

8 comments:

Michael said...

One day at a time works, but sometimes it is an hour or a minute at a time.

On a seemingly unrelated note, have you read the Tao Te Ching? I find it almost as calming as walking through a Zen garden.

The word verification is zhoom. Don't you just feel like that some days?

Lemuel said...

Keeping you always in my thoughts that you come to a place of wholeness in which you can be a peace with yourself and with the world.

Jeremiah Andrews said...

When you come to the end of obsession, and you find peace in just being, the thought of sex will leave you and you will become "Willing" just to be....

Just BE....

Jeremy

Ur-spo said...

good as always to see you posting.

john said...

One step at a time. We all need to take them.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Good for you Joe, yes just one day at a time, even if you slip it is not the end, just get back up and still take it one day at a time. We want you to see how special you are, the way we see you!

Steven

Tay Hota said...

I don't know you but know you're in my thoughts... I am amazed at what dichotomy we can come upon in our lives... Christian... Gay... Restraint... Lustful... Free... Trapped... Happy... HappiER... Sometimes it is only the moment which makes sense...

Jeremiah Andrews said...

Yo Bear, You've been tagged to join a meme party. come by the blog and read the question...

seven things you've learned in recovery!!

Join us

Luv
Jeremy