Monday, August 23, 2010

No Vacancy

I'm reflecting on why today has been one of "those days."  I've gone over the abyss.  Just so much seem to hit me the wrong way, I just couldn't manage very well.  At least I didn't manage very well.

A boat in a tree.  yes.
Details are unimportant.  Extended time off is called for; some silence, alone time, and no problem solving. I need, more than vacation, some vacancy.  Vacant time, space, and thought.  Time to "veg." As one with big-time ADD, down time is important:  time to let the brain unwind or dis-charge itself - like a just-unplugged computer.  The little light does not go out immediately but slowly dims and dies as the power within the transformer dissipates.

I am weary of all this gloom and stress in my life, as I am sure you (faithful readers) are tired of it, too.  Let's hope the Muses will strike with something more innocuous for me to write about.

In other news . . . . .

Youngest child has returned to college.  Oldest child has returned home from summer travels.  Next for her, a job.  She'll be hanging around here, giving me more time to connect with her and build a stronger relationship.  After four years away (and the family turning upside down), it is important for us to do that.  More importantly, I want to do it.

Nothing of exciting, romantic, or salacious news to share. Not that I would. . . .


BentonQuest said...


Be kind to yourself. You have been through a lot! Don't know why, but I have a vision of Yvonne Elliman singing, "Let the world turn without you tonight..." Do something good for you!

Cubby said...

Oh Joe, last May when we met I concentrated very hard when we hugged because I wanted an extra-strong memory of it. One I could draw upon should the need arise. It looks like it has arisen.

I wish I could be there to hug you again, to hold you and let you cry on my shoulder. A long cry would do you some good. I hope you can find another friend there to lend you his shoulder.

In 1993 Greg and I went to see the AIDS Quilt on display on the National Mall. I was overcome that day and couldn't contain my tears. I cried uncontrollably for about 25 minutes on Greg's shoulder. I made a spectacle of myself, but I couldn't help it.

I changed during those 25 minutes. I became a different person. It's like a switch went on in my brain, allowing me to see the world differently. Perhaps a long cry would have a similar effect on you. Find a friend, Joe, and let it out.


Lemuel said...

Sometimes the fields need to be left fallow. It's so hard to do, but may you be able to find the time and the space.

Best wishes not only to you but to your daughters and for your time of reconnecting with them.


Ice John's World said...

Take it easy, Joe! One day at a time! And focus on spending the precious time with your daughter.

behrmark said...

My wish for you is the absence of gloom and stress. Not because I'm tired of reading about it but because I want you to find that peaceful place where your soul and heart are full and your mind is at rest. Take heed to Cubby's advice: let go with your emotions. BEHR HUGS

RG said...

Perhaps a retreat is in order. Perhaps one run by your organization?

Eric said...

Although we have never met, I have been reading your blog and feeling for you. I wish nothing but better and best for you.

Take care, from your pal in Virginia.

Neil said...

Joe, I've experienced both your beautiful and ugly side. But, knowing some of both, I can say: you are loved, cared for, thought about, prayed for every day (so are the girls!) and in some ways looked up to. I'm grateful to God for crossing our paths. If, after Cubby's loving hugs you want some more of those, I'll be honored to be second in line. :-)