I've been up to my nostrils in stress. And I'm not sure the snorkeling is going so well.
A friend shot himself, attempting suicide, I guess. There are no notes, seemed to be no planning. It seems so f**cking random. And stupid. And tragic. I am hurting from this one.
The bullet fragmented in his brain, doing significant damage. But the body lives on. His family decided to remove him from machinery, and this afternoon that was done. I was with him, and them.
But the body lives on. So often people think "pulling the plug" means someone dies instantly, as with unplugging the television. But it ain't that simple. He may go soon, or he may last for days. There is no way to know. (Though, my experience with stubborn people is that they continue to be stubborn, right up to the last. We'll see.)
The waiting is very draining and emotionally exhausting. Makes it difficult to focus on much else. If it were some tragic accident or some extenuating health issue, that's one thing. Those are tragic enough. But suicide.
For now, we have to set aside all the unanswered (and unknowable) questions and focus simply on being with him, and with God.
In the last month, I have had to move. I have traveled far to retrieve eldest child from college and tried to bolster her. (I fear she's near some kind of breakdown). I've been with 68 teenagers and several adults on a five day school trip; fun, but exhausting. i come home and have this difficult situation to deal with
I've had enough stress for a while. Please.