Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Here, not there

The job interview in the neighboring state went well, but I did not get the job. Oddly, I am relieved to have that process out of the way. So, I'll stick around here for awhile.

The organization for which I work, odd though it is, is a great place with great people. Maybe some have figured it out. ("Do you think the boss is gay?") Nobody has said anything, so who knows?

One thing about being gay is that it is one question folk almost never ask. So it seems to me, anyway. Most of the folk with whom I work are older (60 plus). They are of a generation (and so am I!) that just would not ask that question of someone. The homophobia reaches so deep, that you would never want to suggest (read: "accuse") someone of being queer, for God's sake.

Such an insult. Such a terrible slanderous thing to say. NOT the way to win friends and influence people. You just keep quiet about it. Seldom even brought up in those gossipy, murmurs that exist around the edges. Just not done, honey.

So, for that reason, I am probably "safe", for a time.
As long as I don't have too much fun. . . . . .
God will make a way. I am confident of that. Just wish I knew which way.


Java said...

Oh, my. You seem to have a healthy attitude about it.

I am in my mid 40s. I have never asked anyone if he or she is gay. I asked my daughter if the butch-looking girl who lives in her dorm is gay, (She is) but I didn't ask the girl herself. I didn't even know her! I saw her when I was on campus one day.

I'm nervous about asking that question of someone specific. I don't want to ask a guy who is trying hard to stay in the closet, I don't want to risk freaking someone out if he hasn't quite come to terms with it himself. I don't want to ask a perfect stranger. There is one man I've recently met who I want to ask, though. We see each other very occasionally, and he's often busy working when I see him. If I get a chance to have a casual chat with him sometime, I intend to ask him.

Topper said...

Joe, Sorry you did not get the job. Its always a disappointment but you are right. God will make away, He always does. love ya bro.

BentonQuest said...

Darn that God! God should give us some kind of forewarning! ;)

Lemuel said...

I am sorry to hear about the job, but I truly believe in the old adage that when doors close windows open.

I will also wish you as much fun as you can handle in all safety. *grin*

manxxman said...

Sorry about the job, but there is one wonderful thing that came out of the process and that is that you were able to be upfront with them about your sexuality (and may I add that you are one sexy looking guy.....will at least from behind).

Sooo-this-is-me said...

There will be other jobs and any company would be lucky to have you. After I came out, I was surprised to learn of the number of friends who thought I might be gay but never asked, they figured if I wanted them to know, I would tell them. I am thankful of that.

A Troll At Sea said...


Do you think we SHOULD ask people we are only so intimate with about their sexuality? I'm all for taking an ax to the closet, but it seems to me that we also need to respect other people's boundaries.

Lots of people are out about their orientation, but not what "flavor" they are, though it is certainly the topic of much discussion within "the community."

What the hell do I know?

Michael said...

When I came out to people who had known me, lived with me in community and worked with me, there were lots of reactions. No one was hostile to my face, let me say that upfront. Some were, "Really? I never thought about it." Some said, "Well,der!" And then there were the ones who said "Yeah? Me, too."

Sorry about the job. There are other jobs out there, but I know from my own experience that it is hard to find one when people won't hire you because you are overqualified for many things you would be willing to do, and the economy is dropping jobs right and left rather than creating them.

Genesis 22:14.

Ur-spo said...

i remember this; being 'gay' is such a taboo horrible idea.
it is simliar to admitting (at their age) they are seeing a psychiatrist.

happily this is dying out.

afod said...

Sorry to hear about the interview results. But I am glad that you still have a good outlook on the current position. Don't sacrifice "having too much fun" for who you are.

publius100 said...

It's difficult for some folks to keep in mind that the spiritual needs of people are the same whether they are white or black or pink or straight or gay or blond or brunette or pug-nosed or aquiline-nosed.

john said...

God always makes a way. If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it.

Steve F. said...

I'm sorry you didn't get "a way out," but glad that you are safe where you are for the time being.

I've been off the whole blog circuit for a while, but am climbing back on slowly. It is good to see that while I've been off playing with my partner and making a new life, you've been here, making your own new life and blogging too!

Greg said...

You only didn't get this job because there's something better out there that you're meant for. This was just a practice, maybe to gear you up for the right one!