Monday, February 12, 2007

Progress, Not Perfection

I've started attending a 12 step meeting for sex addicts. The more I hear from others, the more I know I'm in the right place. Surrender is difficult. Not sure I can do that, really. But I'm OK in the higher power department. That part is not a stretch for me.

For so long, I've thought I could handle this, I could manage it. But I can't. And that is a foundation of the twelve steps. Knowing you cannot. But that doesn't mean it can't happen. It's about relying on God to make changes in me, to transform me, little by little.

Of course, one would think I'd already tried that, and I suppose I have. I've prayed for years about it, and nothing seemed to happen. But I'm not sure if I really wanted it to happen. Or, I expected magic. OK God, wave the wand and let's get this over with.

Miracles do happen, but I don't think miracles and magic are anywhere close to one another. God makes things happen, but what we really want is magic.

I just can't find my wand. (No, not that one!)

Cheers, Joe.

6 comments:

Michael said...

To paraphrase a friend who dedicates himself to working with addicts:

Keep coming back. Say one word in the morning -- Help! -- and two words at night -- Thank you! And when your head hits the pillow tonight and you have not acted out your addiction, regardless of how you have had to struggle, know that you are a living, breathing miracle. And no one can take that away from you. No one! (Except you.)

And I add this on my own: If you fall, it is never too late to start your day over.

john said...

Do what you need to do buddy!! And I applaud you for taking the right steps towards making yourself better.

God does work His miracles. And I've always believed that. With your faith and the treatment offered by the 12 step program, you can overcome this.

Lemuel said...

I wish you well, Joe!

Ross said...

Wow. You are on quite a journey. I'll be praying for you along the way. Keep us posted on how it's going.

A Troll At Sea said...

BearToast:

I salute you as I head off in the opposite direction. What would life be if we couldn't laugh at its ghastly ironies?

Hang in there.
One day at a time.

T@C

Jeremiah said...

I hope you are well. Stick around until the miracle occurs...

Jeremy