Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Away at work, not out and about

I'm not dead, not yet anyway. I've been off at a conference this week and been very busy.

The conference is offering many tools and concepts that will be useful in my present work, but it is focused is an area that might help me transition to a different kind of position. In other words, it may give me some retraining for new work.

I'm basically in a closet within a closet. I may have come out to myself, but coming out much further (or farther) will jeopardize my present position and maybe my career.

I'm a bit old for a total retrain, and our finances are such that earning much less than I make now would send us over the edge of a financial abyss.

I'm trying to decide how much more to say, if any. More another day. Perhaps.

I hope to post more in coming weeks (if not days) as time allows.

Shalom to all. Joe


Lemuel said...

Good luck in the "semi-retrain"! Did a career change nearly 20 years ago and took a major financial hit. We've never really recovered.

A Troll At Sea said...


necessity is all. Short of necessity, all is fair in love and war.
Hang in there.


CanEragon said...

At age 34 I re-enterd the educational institution. I know many "older" people like me who have taken the retrain path to re-figure financial resources.

Never say Never. If you are still teachable then time is of the essence. Might I suggest you find a local LGBT union or assistance site there who might help you in finding an employer that might be able to work WITH your present situation and not against it.

You can't give up the fight now. There are always solutions, you just have to find the courage to go out there and fight for what can be yours, because really, except for your fellows (in the field) who is gonna look out for you.

I have told this to boys I have counseled out of the closet. Find the resources that will serve you - and not hurt you. If you cannot find what you need there, then find someplace that will. It is a dog eat dog world and it is either Kill or be Killed!!!

Get out there and pound the pavement while you can still walk upright and you have your health. Don't let this lock you into hopelessness, because if you become hopeless then all is lost and all that work to find yourself and come out to your family, your life will have been lived in vain.

Now Find your passion - DO IT - Money will follow !!

Failure is not an option.

If I can do it - so can you !!

Unless you want my problems first!

Be well

bear said...

It's unfortunate to have to be so careful about such things but this is our lot in life. I think it's a big first step to at least admit it all to yourself. I like Jeremy's enthusiasm, I'm not so sure I would be so brave without careful assessment of the situation. I think it really depends on where you live for example, as some places have more options for gay guys, some may have none. Or if you're married and have kids in college or are single. Pick and choose your battles I say.

CanEragon said...

There are extenuating circumstances here because there are children involved. And I would not advise a rash decision or move, but to survey the land and the people to find out where the options lie in people or resources.

Coming out over 30 IS a problem because there are no infrastructures for older folk to assimilate, it is much harder to do that when one is older, work wise and social wise. I've worked with older men who came out to some success but the battles were well fought.

Chose your battles wisely and SEEK the options rather than to SETTLE or Give Up. There are always options even if you don't see them at first. Find the people who can help you and distance yourself from those who do not. it's very simple.

Kill or Be Killed...

The world is not kind to queers, even worse in the U.S. so you gotta fight harder to get where you need to go. I am here to help you.hang in there.


Ur-spo said...

with so much good ideas and advice already up, I will wish you shalom and hopes you can get out of some of these closets some day.

daveincleveland said...

ok joe so i am still alive and well and guess what i now have my own blog...looking at the world gay......hope your well

Mind the Bear said...

Good advice and enthusiastic support. Thanks one and all.

Cheers, Joe.

daveincleveland said...

hey sexy man now i just have to figure how to put links in.....hope your doing well...