Wednesday, October 06, 2010


I'm so angry I could spit.

All the teen suicides of late seem to point to bullying and teens struggling with their sexuality.  Many of us can remember the pain, or still feel it.

As a teenager, I was too isolated to know what "gay" was.  When I was (occasionally) called a "sissy", I do not think I understood the full import of the taunt.  But I was never taunted much, never really bullied because i was the biggest kid in the school - not just overweight (which I was) but big.  Taller, bigger, stronger.  So, I was just left alone.  I felt the isolation, but not the mean, sadistic taunting and bullying that so many have endured.

And for those who could no longer endure it, I pray for the repose of their souls.  As an adult, I have entered that darkness that isolates us from everything and everyone else.  The only way out seems death; that feeling that the world will really be better off is just weren't around.

Oh, God, it's an awful feeling.

If you are part of a church or spiritual institution that remembers the names of those who have died, remember them this Sunday, October 10th.  The day before National Coming Out Day.

Pray for those who never had the chance.   Work like hell so that others will know they DO have the chance.

  • Billy Lucas (15) September 9, 2010. Indiana
  • Cody J. Barker (17) September 13, 2010. Wisconsin
  • Seth Walsh (13) September 19, 2010. California
  • Tyler Clementi (18) September 22, 2010. New Jersey
  • Asher Brown (13) September 23, 2010. Texas
  • Harrison Chase Brown (15) September, 25 2010. Colorado
  • Raymond Chase (19) September 29, 2010. Rhode Island
  • Felix Sacco (17) September 29, 2010. Massachusetts
  • Caleb Nolt (14) September 30, 2010. Indiana
listing courtesy of Jeremy, and the New Civil Rights Movement


Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting this, Joe. When I was a kid I remember when my mother taught me, "Sticks and stones may brake my bones, but words will never harm me." It's probably the only lie she ever told me.

Anonymous said...

Oops. I'm not as dumb as I look. I know it's "break," not "brake."

Birdie said...

These are the names of The Fallen, who paid the price for our failure. We cannot let their deaths go unheralded. Make it mean something. Instead of just bowing to sorrow, let us also bring it up in conversation:

"Have you heard about the nine kids who killed themselves last month? What do you think about that?"

Have your talking points ready so that you can have a genuine conversation. Let people know how YOU feel. Get the subject on the table.

Cubby said...

Thank you Joe.

Ur-spo said...

I also thank you for listing the names so I can think of them particularly.

Lemuel said...

Indeed, Joe!
Another factor in this mix that sickens me deeply is the insistence by the religious right that the statistics of gay suicides (teens in particular) is evidence that ["choosing" to be] gay is wrong - not that it is evidence that their [religious right's] own bullying is wrong.
Growing up I never had my head stuck in a toilet nor what I threated with rape by broom handle, etc., but I, too, was called "sissy" and teased but never understood the overtones of the taunts until I was much older.
Our society and faiths often vilify those who commit suicide. Those who do have never been to that dark place of the soul.
Thank you for this memorial and call to remembrance.

Neil said...

Yes, I've been experiencing your anger, especially recently.

JC said...

I think kids/people are harsher than when I was growing up - or maybe i was just sheltered. I did know bigotry and felt the sting of others accusations, but I don't think there was such a Mob Mentality back then that seems to exist today. Everything moves faster for kids and they are expected to figure it out and move with it. I see that in my own kids, they are quicker to react/respond where I would still be pondering/searching for more information before jumping to snap judgement. I think people are more judgemental and arrogant without even knowing it.
Almost like Political Correctness has a evil under current... PC is all on the surface only for show and then when something stressful happens -- the ugly shows up. I have been caught off guard and shocked by the mean or hateful comments made by people that I thought I knew well - comments would not be directed at me necessiarly, but still I am wondering where that came from and what 'do' they harbor deep down about me... A couple of these people were people at my former church in positions of authority - not someone you would expect to be 'non-pastorial' (is that word?)

People need to stop quoting (thumping) their Bible so much and start living it more.
Yet I guess that is just the way evil works, there must be more joy if it can cause a pious man to fail.

BentonQuest said...

Thanks for the list of names. How sad. How frustrating.

Jeremiah Andrews said...

Hey Bear.
I've opened a new blog the URL is:

I've moved the evolution over to this new address. So update your blog feed on your sidebar with the new blog. It is called:

My Side Of the Street.



Our hearts are breaking over this total injustice. so much life taken because of a few assholes.

Damn them.

Butterfly Mage said...

Good post.

I remember the hell that was High School. It was bad enough that the football jocks had carte blanche to do as they pleased to whomever they pleased, but having to be 110% in the closet out of abject terror of being beaten or murdered was an experience that I couldn't be paid enough money to ever repeat.

It fills me with rage when the sanctimonious fundamentalists from Focus on the Family actually *defend* gay bullying. It just amazes me how people who claim to now the love of Christ can harbor such coldness in their hearts.

edaa157 said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................

The Favorite Things Guy said...

I'm a church-attending Christian myself, and I can freely say this. What's really sad is the church has failed to reach out to these young people with love and compassion--the two things that kept Christ on the cross to die for our sins.

Topper said...

Thanks for the list. Its so hard.