Thursday, October 08, 2009


Indeed.  A lot has happened the past few weeks.

I am the boss.  I have a staff of three full-time, in office folk; one full-time out of office folk; a couple of part-times.  Me, as the boss?  Who would have thought . . . .

So, I came out to my office staff this week.  Big step.  Was there shock?  Were they surprised that the boss they've worked with, lo, these many years is queer?  Is the pope Polish?  Not any more.

There was, on their faces and in the room, a sense of relief.  No shock, no surprise.  They've know I've been sort of "lost in space" for some time now.  And now they know why.  Already (in just a couple of day's time) the working atmosphere is better, real, open. Honest.

Relief was my main feeling.  Deep relief.  One small step for a man; one giant leap for queerkind.

Honesty.  Integrity.  Authenticity.  The truth is the only thing that sets us free.

I know that I am vague about my work situation, and I will continue to be so.  Let's just say I work for a religious non-profit, and I work weekends.    It is a peculiar kind of job; one might even call it a vocation.  Figure it out, or ask me privately.  My email is on my profile.

There are many in the LGBTQ community who don't like my "parent company" or like folk of my "ilk."  It is difficult calling one's self "Christian" in this day and age because of the hate-mongering, narrow-minded, bigoted, brain dead folk out there who call themselves "Christians."  I am not one of those and do not work for an organization like that.  Thankfully.

That doesn't mean that coming out at work will be "no big deal."  For some of our "customers" it could be a very big deal.  It is the unknown (and the uncontrollable) that causes some anxiety. And, the Spirit moves.  And all shall be well.

And, yes, that's really me at the beach this summer.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations. That's a big step. I remember taking the same step, and how the world seemed to just relax around me after I did.


Java said...

Congratulations!! That's pretty big news, considering your occupation. I'm really glad things are going so well so far, and I hope the good continues.

Neil said...

Dearest friend, I'm very happy for the relief you're already feeling. You deserve it so much. I've been praying for you very intensely and will continue. I'm not experienced enough to give advice but I'm all with you in what is to come, whatever happens. You have my support. Good luck!

Oh, and you don't only work weekends. You're a pretty busy guy all week long ;-)

manxxman said...

Oh my.......and wow and well you get the point. I'm so pleased it went well for you......what a weight off your shoulders.

I hope you are able to go from strength to strength.

You've come so very far and there is so much "light" now in front of you, use it as your guide.

Jeff Shaumeyer said...

Phew; just the result we'd hoped for.

True, I am an atheist, but I do know about your type of Christian; I am married to a former Benedictine monk and RC priest. He works as a parish administrator for an Episcopal church where the priest and his partner are much beloved by the congregation. It does happen.

Larry Ohio said...

Oh Joe, this is very good news. I'm so happy and relieved for you. Long-distance hugs from Ohio :-)

Jim said...

"Honesty. Integrity. Authenticity. The truth is the only thing that sets us free."

Truer word have rarely been spoken! I'm very proud of you!

[Big bear hug to you!]

jim said...

Good for you Joe. I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest. I know it was weighing you down.

You are inspiring me in my journey. Showing me there is light after the darkness.



BentonQuest said...

Joe, what a big step! Congratulations and take comfort in the strength you have shown. God will be with you. Know that my prayers go with you!

Birdie said...

I am so pleased for you. It must feel wonderful to be that much closer to living the life you have dreamed of for so long, to be fully the man God made you to be. I continue to pray for your trust in God's loving presence as events unfold.

Jeremiah Andrews said...

Well now the cat is out of the bag. You must employ discretion and integrity with who you deal with. You never know who is willing to stab you in the back because you are Gay. Tell only those you must.

honesty integrity and authenticity are good when the water is cool and the community is familiar, and not religious or hostile towards one or another.

When that honesty puts a target on your back, that is when I advise discretion and silence. You can still be a man, aside from being gay. I don't see the need to yell it from the steeples and hills, but if it makes you feel better and it worked out in your favor now, then kudos to you.

Now that the cat is out of the bag, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.


Brent said...

Wow, congrats. I'm not sure I will ever take that step...they'll just figure it out.

RG said...

You can exhale now....

Lemuel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lemuel said...

Your truth has really set you free. All you have done, all you have written, all that you are is an inspiration and a challenge to me.

I think of where you and I stand as people who understand our faith as one centered in love, forgiveness, grace, acceptance, and inclusion. Yet there are those who claim the name of that faith who hate us for who we are and for how God has made us. And sadly, in part because of that hate that they have endured, there are those who are made like us who wish to have no part of us who claim that God of grace.

My prayers go with you as you continue your journey. I would seek yours as well.

"Well done, good and faithful servant!"

Michael Dodd said...

In the beginning ... let there be light!

David said...

'Awesome' or 'wondrous' don't quite cover it, but they're always words which come to mind when I witness a brother or sister leaving the closet and living into the truth of the being God made them, calls them to be.

This is sacred business, and in the days and months ahead you'll have our prayers.

In the meantime I'd urge you to trust your grace, as you continue to grow into that life. Trust it enough to honour your own process, your own needs and your own schedule, knowing that in such authenticity God is meeting us.

Bravo Joe


Bigg said...

I'm SO happy for you. More than I can say.

Eric said...

Congratulations! Sometimes we create more fear than we experience. I'm glad to hear it went well.

daveincleveland said...

hey handsome

so very happy for you..glad it went as well as it just keep pressing onward in your journey
hugs from cleveland\

Ur-spo said...

I want to join the ever increasing conga-line of happy congrats for your bravery and growth!

BadgerBear said...

Yay you!

I'm very proud of you, beautiful :-)

Even though I do not work for a non-profit in your line, I'm out to only a few of my clients. But anyone who has eyes to see could figure it out ... ;-)

I'm so glad that's off your mind and that you can be a little more congruent (look at me, I'm being Rogerian!) with your innermost self.

Love you!

A Troll At Sea said...


Congratulations. Here's hoping that freedom truly proves worth the inevitable cost--on some level, I believe it always does, but then, that's me. I am so happy you took this step and feel good about it.

Let's rack up another one for the Nazz.


Ultra Dave said...

Good for you Joe! Glad it work out and had such a postive effect on you!

David said...

I have been so out of touch with you, and for that I'm sorry!

But I'm so glad you had such a good experience with work. More and more freedom and it feels so good!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on making the move to come out. One less thing on your plate to worry about. Relax and enjoy yourself.

Topper said...

Well congratulations. That is a big step. but there were no surprises. That is a good thing. I know the relief when your able to tell people and have them understand. My boss knows about me and its ok. The issue Im having right now is endorssment. a headache. like you say honesty, integrity, authenticity

Sean said...

God calls who he calls - all people, all genders, all races, all beliefs, all sexual orientations. Who would I be to question Him? Congratulations.

Greg said...

Yay for you!!! : )

Steve F. said...

I have been away from the blogosphere for a long, long time - and so missed your momentous moment. I'm embarrassed for having missed it, but happy to add my voice to those who celebrate with you.

As Michael and Tom S. once said to me, spoofing southwest Airlines, "You are now free to move about the country."

And yes, the caution about "your employer" and "your customers" is warranted. Continue to be in conversation with your "superiors" and trusted people - and, as so many have said, be careful.

Hugs and peace to you, brother.