A friend made the very kind and generous gift of a massage! Much needed. Much welcomed. maybe even Much deserved! (?)
Being nice to myself is very difficult. Accepting niceness from others, likewise. Nonetheless, I had a great massage yesterday. [Note: very straight massage therapist was very woofy! I kept my eyes closed lest I be distracted.]
But afterwards, I got grumpier, and the day did, too. Maybe it's bad spirits, negative juju, the lingering effects of seven years past. maybe it was just stuff. But maybe it was my body.
I have done some work with mind -- body connection. Some emotions (such as anger) have physical components - perhaps I should say physiological - and remain in our bodies if they are not allowed to emerge. Some work on the body, like a massage, can bring things out, release them, send them forth. And I think that's what happened yesterday.
Today is better, but subdued. Anger, fear, sadness, anger, and anger all came up for me through the day, yesterday. Tears, grunts, shouts, and more tears.
At first I wondered what was "wrong." Too often I go there. It's about something being wrong, something I have done, some mistake I've made, something done or left undone. But then I came to see that on occasion it is, simply, just what is.
I am grateful.