Changing things in life are like that. Weighty, requiring strength to get things started. And still strength is needed to complete the switch, but it's nice to have some weight to complete the task.
Then you just have the train to move.
I stole the picture from Slobot. Hope he won't mind.
Too often I live out of a sense of scarcity. I am not enough; I do not have enough; I cannot be enough. This mindset seems to exclude any sense of grace, or love, or Love. This thinking leads me over the edge, into the abyss. It follows from old training. I must do it all, be all, figure it all out on my own. Not one is there to help. No one is there.
God calls us to live out of a sense of abundance. God loves, enables, engraces, gifts, and provides. I am good. I can. What I need is available to me.
I think I never have enough. I'm not good enough. I do not have what it takes. I don't even know what it takes! I am deficient, inadequate, inept, and so on. It just gets worse.
I have enough. I do not have all things or gifts or talents, but I have enough.
God has provided what I need to do what I'm called to do. I am loved. There
is nothing I can do (for good or ill) that will make God love me any more, or
less, than God already loves me.
Making this switch in thinking and being is not easy, but possible. It is not instant, but gradual. It is part of the journey.
I know how to love. I am learning how to be loved. This is a tough task. The transformation I need is not about becoming someone else, but healing the wounds to become who I am.