Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I saw "the movie" and I cried. It was so painful on so many levels. Maybe it's a little different if your out, maybe one can critique it from a very different perspective, more as art than life.
But for me, it was all too much like life, even though Ennis and Jack and I have lives that are vastly different is most ways. I've never been to Wyoming. I haven't been on a horse since I was 5. And (significantly) I have never had a relationship with a man, only brief, nameless encounters. You can guess . . . .
But I yearn for it. So, I cried. Of course, I cry at a lot of movies. I cried for me. I cried for them.
I yearn for it, that deep, loving relationship with a man. I have a significant relationship with a woman (my wife) whom I love dearly. How do I put into words what the difference is, though I know that difference like I know my own face. It is radically different, but as yet, I cannot find a way to describe or delineate or adeqately differentiate. How strange.
I am guessing that any reading this (both of you, maybe!) will understand deeply what I am saying here. But how to put it into words. Mystery.
Anyway, Brokeback Mountain was a good flick. And I cried; for me, and for those whose longings go beyond words.
at 9:28 AM